Flowers, cards, church gatherings, family gatherings, joy, gladness, laughter, and honor. All of these things make up most of our Mother’s Day celebrations as well they should. This is the day set aside to recognize our Moms, express our love for us in childbearing, rearing, feeding, cleaning, cheering, and untold other acts of selfless love they demonstrate to their children.
However in the midst of all these things there is a group of women who are often forgotten. They are women who are no less mothers, but have to bear the pain of having empty arms. These are the women who have had to go through the same emotions and physiological anticipation of having a child, but a child they never been able or never will again hold, rear, feed, clean, cheer, and see grow before their eyes.
It is the oft forgotten women who have gone through miscarriage, stillbirth, or have their child taken so early in life due to conditions such as trisomy or other issues that we want to make sure to honor and make sure they are not forgotten and to herald to everyone that they too are mothers!
Have you ever thought what it was like to sit in a church, see mothers honored on a stage with accolades, gifts, and flowers while you sit silently, tears streaming down your face, as you just recently miscarried your child? As there is no acknowledgment or recognition that you too are a mother?
Have you ever wondered what that mother who just had to hand over the lifeless body of their still-born child to the funeral director feels when instead of embracing her as a mother, gets looks of pity, and has to watch as others around her be exalted as women of motherhood, but never realizing the devastating blow to her own self-worth that is being dealt?
Let me be clear, these questions are not meant to bring a guilt trip or cause us to cease exalting mothers and motherhood on Mother’s day. Instead it is a call to all of us to make sure that we realize that these women are also mothers and worthy of our honor. They have been called to bear a burden that many could not, a testament to their strength, resilience, and capacity to love that is amazing despite knowing they will never in this life hold their child in their arms or get to experience all the things most mother’s get to experience. A nightmare they will never wake up from in this life.
This reminder is even more meaningful as I am the husband of a wife that has had to experience these things and the full range of emotions that come with it. As people of Faith there are 7 things that my wife and I have learned that we want to share with you if you are going through or know someone who is walking through this “valley of the shadow of death.”
- It’s ok to grieve and that the love for your children does not begin after they are born.
- Mom’s are not the only ones impacted by the loss – the whole family shares in the loss.
- People will say hurtful things, not even realizing they are doing so in an attempt to comfort.
- You are a mother – even if you never hold the child in your arms as others do.
- God does give grace.
- There is hope in the midst of darkness.
- The opportunity to comfort others will extend further than you realize and you will be in a unique position to minister to them in a special way with a new sense of compassion.
There are also three essential oil blends that were helpful for my wife as we have walked this valley several times. We hope they can be a blessing to you as well.
- Joy™ is a delightful blend of Bergamot, Ylang Ylang, Geranium, Lemon, Coriander, Tangerine, Jasmine, Roman Chamomile, Palmarosa, and Rose essential oils that harmonize for a sweet, joyful aroma. When diffused, Joy creates a warm, comforting environment and inspires a romantic aromatic atmosphere.
White Angelica™ is a calming and soothing blend that encourages feelings of protection and security.
It combines oils used during ancient times to enhance the body’s aura, which brings about a sense of strength and endurance.
Release™ combines uplifting, calming oils that stimulate a sense of peace and emotional well-being, which in turn facilitate the ability to release anger and frustration. Repressed negative emotions lie at the root of many health concerns. Release promotes harmony and balance in the mind and body.
As we celebrate Mothers this Mother’s day, we hope that you will join us in honoring all Mothers for their selfless love and sacrifices for their children. How will you honor Mothers this Mother’s day?